GLORIA BELL - Review

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GLORIA BELL

Rated: R

Release Date: March 15, 2019

Director: Sebastian Lelio

Stars: Julianne Moore, John Turturro, Michael Cera, Rita Wilson

Plot: A middle-aged woman goes through a mild mid-life crisis while trying to find out what is important to her

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Don't even bother

 

 

This is one of those films where I swear I saw a different movie than almost all of the other critics. Apparently, they saw something fantastic.

 

I saw a movie that is slow, the main character is just as boring as every one of us in our normal day-to-day lives, the conflict is childish, and the arc of the hero is minimal at best.

 

Essentially it is a story of old, white people dancing like old, white people and doing old, white people things. Then the main character has some form of a mild mid-life crisis in which she tries to party a couple of times like she was in college, have sex like in high school, and goes through relationship drama the way we did when we were in junior high.

 

The big, life-altering moment for the main character is really quite mundane. It also feels like the whole story was written to get to that one point in the story. It's 90 minutes of normalish, boring life leading up to 2 minutes of what an old person would think is exciting. It's a lot more annoying than it is empowering. The whole time I was watching this I wanted to yell at the main character, "Do something exciting"! I also wanted to act like a relationship counselor and tell everyone to grow up. 

 

If you are interested in seeing this movie, there is absolutely zero reason for spending the money to see it on the big screen. Watching it on your computer curled up in your bed will be just fine. That is also just about as exciting as the plot of the movie.

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Guest Saturday, 20 July 2019