VANQUISH - Review
Release Date: April 16, 2021
Director: George Gallo
Stars: Ruby Rose, Morgan Freeman, Chris Mullinax
Plot: A woman is pulled back into her old life of crime for one last night of jobs
Clint Says: Don't even bother
Have you ever watched a movie that is so bad that it is almost good? Well, if you can't say that you have then gather up all of your sharp-witted friends and que up Vanquish this weekend.
I have seen well over 5,000 movies in my life and this one ranks right up there as one of the worst of all time. This is bordering on The Room level of bad.
This is the kind of film you beg the writers of Mystery Science Theater 3000 to roast someday, because it is filled with hundreds of moments where the one-liners nearly write themselves. In fact, after I got over the initial shock of how terrible the movie was, I literally had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard at it.
It's almost like the director tried to make a horrible movie. Ruby Rose and Morgan Freeman are both incredible actors. Do you know how hard it would be to make them both suck in a movie? Well, kudos to this director, because he managed to do just that. And the acting from the rest of the unknown cast is worse than Junior High School Autumn Play acting.
It also has one of the poorest written scripts I've ever had the misfortune of seeing turned into a film. It feels and sounds like this was written in a day and they called the first draft good. The dialogue is so amateur and embarrassingly weak. I found myself cringing every time poor Freeman had to pretend to be talking to someone on the phone.
They must have spent the entire film's budget on landing Freeman and Rose because the rest of the film looks like it was made for about $5,000. ($3,900 of which was used to rent the cool car at the end for a day). I mean, you know it's bad when one of the bad guys shows up in a Smart car. (Or something quite similar to that. Honestly, I couldn't be bothered to try to figure it out. I've already wasted too much of my life on this flick).
It's pretty early in the year still, but I can say with 99.9% confidence that this film will absolutely make my 10 Worst Films of 2021 list. And it has a great shot at taking the top spot.
I can't recommend this film in any positive way, but I can tell you this is a must-see movie if you are a person that loves to make fun of crappy films. I highly doubt you will find a film more deserving of the insults you throw its way.