Reviews Of What Is In Theaters Now

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47 METERS DOWN: UNCAGED

Rated: R

Release Date: August 16, 2019

Director: Johannes Roberts

Stars: Sophie Nelisse, Sistine Stallone, Brianne Tju, Corinne Foxx

Plot: Four girls find themselves trapped in an underwater, shark-infested, cave

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

 

 

If you saw the first film in this franchise you know that the ending made most people throw their leftover popcorn at the screen. Thankfully, the makers of this movie learned their lesson and didn't give us a terrible ending. 

 

This flick is not great by any stretch of the imagination, but it does exactly what it sets out to do. It makes you feel lost, claustrophobic, and panicked, and then the sharks show up and scare you half to death. This isn't a movie for people that like to think about plot, or examine why someone is doing something so stupid instead of doing the obvious thing. This is a movie where you grab a huge bucket of popcorn, throw out all thoughts of science and logic, and enjoy the heck out of zombie sharks chasing people through an underground cave. 

 

Critically speaking this movie is terrible. There isn't a story, there are no character arcs, the effects are bad, and the script is worse. But from the standpoint of wanting to see sharks eat humans, this is 90 minutes of greatness. 

 

There is nothing about this film that is going to rock your world or make you think about it long after you've seen it. It's nothing more than a decent film made to creep you out and make you never want to scuba dive ever again. 

 

Try not to think at all while watching this movie and you'll have a great time. 

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GOOD BOYS

Rated: R

Release Date: August 16, 2019

Director: Gene Stupnitsky

Stars: Jacob Tremblay, Keith L. Williams, Brady Noon

Plot: Three tweens find themselves in the middle of a very grown-up adventure

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

 

 

It isn't very often that you can see a movie that is sweet, heart-warming, and adorable, and at the same time it is, insanely raunchy, foul-mouthed, drug-filled, and ridiculously hilarious. It's even less often that those opposite elements can be combined to make a great movie.

 

In this case, they work.

 

Jacob Tremblay (ROOM, WONDER) is fantastic in his first coming-of-age role. He's been a great actor for years already, but this film proves that he also has comedic timing. His co-stars are wonderful in their own ways. Keith Williams steals a ton of scenes. He is a fantastically funny straight man. And Brady Noon plays a perfect version of a 6th grader who wants to be tough, but has no clue how to make that happen.

 

What makes this movie work so well is that the kids are wanting to do adult things, but they are too innocent to figure it all out. If it had just been a movie about three potty-mouthed tweens that are wise to the ways of the world it wouldn't have worked.

 

This movie is very rated R all the way through. If you can handle 90 minutes of nastiness, then you will have a blast watching this movie. Just make sure you don't take the kids or you will have a TON of explaining to do.

 

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BLINDED BY THE LIGHT

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: August 16, 2019

Director: Gurinder Chadha

Stars: Viveik Kalra, Aaron Phagura, Nell Williams

Plot: A teen, growing up in 1980's England, finds his inspiration through the music and lyrics of Bruce Springsteen

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Wait for the digital release

 

 

I don't really like to compare movies to other films, but in this case I almost have to do it. This is a British comedy focused on music. It would be shelved right beside films like YESTERDAY and SING STREET. Unfortunately, both of those films are far superior to this one.

 

This movie feels like a low-budget, second-year-film-student project. It has pacing issues, the acting, aside from a couple of secondary characters is bad, the dialogue is stilted, and for a movie about a teen's love for all things Bruce Springsteen, it feels like there aren't a lot of songs from The Boss. (In reality there are 12, but most are barely used at all, and two are used extensively, so it makes it feel like they couldn't afford all of the songs they wanted so they licensed a couple a used them every chance they could get).

 

The story is interesting, but it doesn't offer us anything we haven't seen before in movies about teens chasing their dreams and breaking away from their parents. In fact, this movie doesn't even do that very well. Most of the character development happens in the last 15 minutes of the film. Essentially, everybody stubbornly stays the same for the first 95 minutes, then finally, everyone has an life-changing moment all at the same time.

 

Even if you are a huge Springsteen fan, I think you are going to have a hard time enjoying this film. If you aren't a fan of The Boss, take this one off of your list now. There is nothing for you to see or experience in this movie.

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THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE 2

Rated: PG

Release Date: August 13, 2019

Director: Thurop Van Orman

Stars: Jason Sudeikis, Josh Gad, Leslie Jones, Bill Hader

Plot: The birds and pigs must work together when a new threat promises to take out both of their islands

Trailer

 

 

Clint Says: Wait for the digital release

 

 

This is one of those times where Hollywood should have walked away when it had the chance. The first ANGRY BIRDS movie was a lot of fun, and funny. This one feels like nothing more than a poorly written cash grab. I saw it in a theater with a bunch of kids and their parents. I might as well have been in a library with how quiet the place was.

 

I guess on the one hand, maybe that means the kids were captivated enough by the movie to sit quiet and still for 100 minutes, but it also means that all of the comedy landed flat. There wasn't a single moment where I heard crowd laughter.

 

It's slow-paced, barely funny, and annoyingly similar to the first film in look and story.

 

There is nothing innovative, special, or unique about this movie. It offers nothing that makes it worth spending your money to see it in theaters. Just wait for the digital release. That way, when your kids get bored with it, you can turn it off and not feel bad about wasting all of that money.

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DORA AND THE LOST CITY OF GOLD

Rated: PG

Release Date: August 9, 2019

Director: James Bobin

Stars: Isabela Moner, Eva Longoria, Danny Trejo, Michael Pena

Plot: Dora and her friends must find her parents and the lost city of gold before the bad guys get to them first

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

 

 

As the father of five kids I have seen what feels like several thousand episodes of DORA THE EXPLORER. When I heard about the live action film I was wondering how they were going to take something so simple and turn it into something fun for the kids but also exciting enough to keep parents from being insanely bored.

 

I shouldn't have worried, because they killed it.

 

This movie is so much fun for kids and adults. There are hilarious throwbacks to the cartoon, there are moments of irreverence. and there are poop jokes. What more could you ask for?

 

Sure, the plot is somewhat formulaic and simplistic, but it is a movie made for young kids. The good news is that it is still compelling and exciting for everyone else. It is funny, sweet, and joyful from beginning to end.

 

If you have younger kids, put this one on the list to see soon. It is totally worth your time and money.