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HOTEL ARTEMIS - Review

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HOTEL ARTEMIS

Rated: R

Release Date: June 8, 2018

Director: Drew Pearce

Stars: Jodie Foster, Sterling K. Brown, Sofia Boutella, Jeff Goldblum

Plot: Several events converge at a secret hospital for criminals causing a situation where everyone is in danger

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Wait for the digital release and make someone else rent it

 

 

Every story has already been told.

 

We've heard that so many times it has become cliche. And while it may be true on a basic story-telling level, it doesn't give people the authority to write stories in worlds created by other people. Imagine if someone wrote a story about sisters and one had the ability to freeze things, or a bunch of magical kids all go to school together near London. We would be yelling at the screen saying, "you stole that idea!"

 

HOTEL ARTEMIS is about as close as you can get to a straight ripoff of the JOHN WICK world. It's a hotel hospital where criminals can rest without fear of retribution from the other criminals because there are rules in place like no killing, no weapons, pay your monthly dues or no admittance, etc. They also use old school ways like land line phones, the rooms have hotel keys that look like they are from the 1960's, but all of the important stuff is state of the art. Sound familiar? It should, because it is the JOHN WICK world almost to a tee.

 

There is even a scene near the end of the film where the big confrontation takes place and it looks almost exactly like the lobby of the Continental Hotel in JOHN WICK.

 

I'm embarrassed for them that they couldn't come up with something more creative. And I'm completely shocked that nobody with any authority ever stopped and said, hey does this all seem a little too familiar to anyone?

 

When you throw on top of that a story that is filled with some of the biggest plot holes I've ever seen, two complete story lines that are absolutely useless to the plot, and a ridiculous convergence of events, you get a thoroughly unenjoyable eye-roller.

 

The only thing good about this movie is that some of the acting is pretty good. Sofia Boutella does a great job with the steaming pile of junk with which she had to work. Foster, Brown and Bautista also give performances that make the film somewhat tolerable.

 

If the premise of this film intrigues you watch JOHN WICK instead. It is a hundred times better than this mess.

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