ANGEL HAS FALLEN

Rated: R

Release Date: August 23, 2019

Director: Ric Roman Waugh

Stars: Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman, Nick Nolte, Danny Huston

Plot: When the President is attacked his top security detail is framed and must fight to clear his name

Trailer

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

This is the third film in the "FALLEN" franchise. You would think by now that the President would realize that his number one security guy is incredibly terrible at his job, because people have almost killed him in massive plots three different times. 

Just fire the guy already!

As for the movie, it's the same stuff as before, just a different setting. Lot's of explosions, lots of gunfire, and about a thousand laws broken, but none of that matters in the end, because the good guy finally gets his man. 

The best part of this movie is Nick Nolte. He completely steals the show. He is hilarious and heartwarming. And he adds a much-needed element of humanity to the story. Without him this film would be stiff and unbearable. 

As with most movies of this ilk, it is full of plot holes and moments of convenience. Just ignore those and go with it if you want to enjoy the film.

If you like high-stakes action flicks then you'll probably enjoy seeing this. You might as well see it in the theaters, just so you can get the full, body-shaking effect of stuff blowing up. If you are hoping for a smart, political thriller you should keep your money in your pocket and wait for something else to come along.

HOBBS AND SHAW

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: August 2, 2019

Director: David Leitch

Stars: Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, Vanessa Kirby, Idris Elba

Plot: Two former enemies must work together to save the world from a deadly virus and a mad man

Trailer

Clint Says: Drop everything and go see this in theaters now

Sometimes in life you just want something brainless, ridiculous, and stupid to satisfy your cravings. This is the perfect movie for that. It is, in every way, brainless, ridiculous, and stupid. But it is also a good movie. 

The banter and jokes thrown between Dwayne Johnson and Jason Staham are fantastic, funny, entertaining, and awesome. I have no idea how they managed to shoot several of the scenes without cracking up every single take. 

One of the best additions to this film, and the FAST AND FURIOUS franchise is the appearance of Helen Mirren as Shaw's criminal mastermind mother. She is brilliant in the role and perfectly hilarious, too. 

Vanessa Kirby also brings new blood to the franchise in more ways than one. Her fighting skills are on par with the guys three times her size, and she is faster and smarter than everyone she encounters. Plus she has a very interesting relationship with both Hobbs and Shaw making for some great comedic tension.

Idris Elba plays the over-the-top bad guy as well as anyone has ever played the bad guy in a movie like this. He goes to the extreme without it becoming too campy. And because of his character we get to see a ton of cool stuff blow up. 

I'm pretty sure I lost brain cells while watching this film, but I'm completely okay with that. This is 100% awesome fun. It is insanely funny, overflowing with ridiculous action, and packed with high levels of testosterone and stupidity. What more could anyone possibly want or need in a summer popcorn flick. 

This one is so fun you may even want to see it twice. 

SHAFT

Rated: R

Release Date: June 14, 2019

Director: Tim Story

Stars: Samuel L. Jackson, Regina Hall, Jessie T. Usher, Alexandra Shipp

Plot: The son of Shaft needs the help of his estranged father when his best friend gets into trouble

Trailer

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

If you are old enough to remember the Richard Roundtree SHAFT films from the 70's then you will be happy to know that this movie does a good job of paying homage to them, while still making itself relevant to 2019.

I was surprised by the humor throughout. I figured there would be a couple of laughs thrown in to lighten the mood, but this movie is really funny. In fact, there were more jokes in this movie than in some of the comedies that have come out recently.

The only thing I didn't like was that the mystery and the solving of the mystery were too straightforward and formulaic. I was hoping for more twists and turns, but instead it's a no-nonsense who-done-it.

This film does a fantastic job of using the music to it's advantage. There is one scene where the main action gets interrupted, at that point the music stops dead, the characters deal with the nuisance, and then, as they get back to the point of the scene, the music ramps up again like it's being played on a record player.

Overall, this is a fun, funny film with a decent mystery and a little bit of suspense. If you are a fan of Samuel L. Jackson then you have to see this movie. The same goes if you are a fan of the original SHAFT flicks. It's a good summer film where you can relax, be entertained, and not have to use your brain too much for a couple of hours.

GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: May 31, 2019

Director: Michael Dougherty

Stars: Kyle Chandler, Vera Farmiga, Millie Bobby Brown, Ken Wantanabe

Plot: A vigilante group finds a way to release all of the titans, causing mass destruction all over the world

Trailer

Clint Says: If you are a fan of monster movies, see this in theaters. If not, skip it.

This film can be summed up in one sentence. It is a lot of humans doing colossally stupid things allowing the monsters ample opportunity to destroy everything and fight each other.

If you read that sentence and said, "Sounds good to me," then you should go see this movie immediately. If your response was anything short of that, then do anything else.

This is a check-your-brain-at-the-door popcorn flick. The plot is so insanely stupid that it really feels like it is in the way of us just being able to enjoy the battles. For those of you that are MMA, boxing, or wrestling fans, the plot in this film is like enduring the 25 minutes of filler between the fights. Sometimes you get a good moment or two, but for the most part it's just annoying and a great opportunity to go to the bathroom.

It's sad that they didn't bother to make this movie any smarter. Movies like PACIFIC RIM prove you can make a monster movie that is smart, has great character development, and a compelling plot. This film has none of that.

The upside is that the fight scenes are incredible. The sights and sounds are exciting and entertaining, and there are a lot of fights in this movie.  The downside is there are usually several helpless humans below them, (oddly enough, it's almost always the same group of people), and we don't care about any of them because the character development is so bad.

I saw this movie with a huge Godzilla fan and a couple of 12 year old boys. You'd think they all would have considered this to be Best Picture material, but all three of them were just okay with it. Even the 12 year olds picked up on how thin the plot was.

If you go, just enjoy the monster bash. Do not engage your brain at all. If you do you will be severely disappointed.

JOHN WICK CHAPTER 3: PARABELLUM

Rated: R

Release Date: May 17, 2019

Director: Chad Stahelski

Stars: Keanu Reeves, Halle Berry, Ian McShane, Laurence Fishburne

Plot: John Wick has become excommunicated, and now everyone is trying to claim the $14 Million price on his head

Trailer

Clint Says: Drop everything and go see this in theaters now

It is confirmed. This is the best action movie franchise in the history of film. It's better than DIE HARD, it's better than the BOURNE films, it's better than all of them.

Never have I seen a row full of movie critics all jump back in their seats, look at each other in amazement, and then clap and cheer like a bunch of kids at an amusement park. And that happened TWICE in the first ten minutes of the movie!

Just about 90 minutes into the film a fellow critic leaned over to me and whispered, "I'm going to see this movie infinity times." To which my reply was, "I know, right!?"

If you have not seen the first two films in this series it is essential that you do before seeing this one. This movie doesn't bother with silly things like resetting the world, the characters, or what the heck is going on. It just picks up right where the last one left off and sprints towards the finish line. 

This is the kind of movie where you have to suspend your disbelief. If you can do that, you'll stand a great chance of loving this movie. If you can't, you shouldn't even bother. Just about everything that happens in the JOHN WICK films are impossible and ridiculous. But that is what makes them so great.

For those of you that are not familiar with this franchise, you need to know that it is filled with brutal violence, and oh-I-really-don't-want-to-look-but-I-have-to moments from beginning to end. If you can handle all of that then you should watch the first two film immediately and then head straight to the theater to see this one.

MISS BALA

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: February 1, 2019

Director: Catherine Hardwicke

Stars: Gina Rodriguez, Anthony Mackie, Ismael Cruz Cordova

Plot: A makeup artist finds herself in the middle of a drug war and must survive any way she can

Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the digital release

If you ever saw the movie MISS CONGENIALITY you've pretty much seen this film, but only if you played the first one in reverse...and take out all of the happy moments.

Gina Rodriguez is decent in this movie, but the rest of the cast is pretty terrible. It is filled with stilted dialogue, one-dimensional characters, and formulaic plot points. It has a couple of suspenseful moments, but for an action flick it moves pretty slow.

There isn't a lot to this movie other than what you see in the trailer. It is just over 90 minutes long and it feels like they stretched to get it there. It has a lot of potential, but it never really pays off in an entertaining way. 

If you are in the mood for a couple of cool explosions and you don't really care about thinking while watching a film, then grab some popcorn and enjoy this. If you are expecting something smart as well as full of action, you may want to wait until something better comes along.  

ROBIN HOOD

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: November 21, 2018

Director: Otto Bathurst

Stars: Taron Egerton, Jamie Foxx, Ben Mendelsohn, Eve Hewson

Plot: Robin of Loxley returns from war to a very different Nottingham than when he left, and must work with a small group of people to try to bring down the evil Sheriff 

Trailer

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

I think that Hollywood is slowly forgetting how to write a proper hero. Several times this year I've sat through films where the "hero" does nothing on his/her own, but simply reacts to the environment presented before them. A true hero is proactive, not reactive. They figure out a way, against all odds, to overcome the bigger, badder, evil that no one else can vanquish.

This Robin Hood is no hero. 

He spends the entire movie, save for literally one minute, following the orders and wishes of everyone else in the film. He never makes his own way, until one point where he says "I have a plan," and unfurls a map in front of his gang. And that's it. That is his one shining moment as the hero.

There are some good things about this movie. First, Taron Egerton is in it. He's great in just about everything he does, even in a bad movie. Second, there are a lot of great action scenes. Third, the music is awesome. And finally, there is some great, witty banter between the characters. If the story had been better this could have been an outstanding film. 

If you are a fan of the Robin Hood tale, you may want to skip this one. It might leave a bad taste in your mouth. If you are a Taron Egerton fan, by all means, get to the theater right away and enjoy.

THE GIRL IN THE SPIDER'S WEB

Rated: R

Release Date: November 9, 2018

Director: Fede Alvarez

Stars: Claire Foy, Sverrir Gudnason, Lakeith Stanfield, Sylvia Hoeks

Plot: A hacker is tasked with destroying a dangerous computer program before it falls into the wrong hands

Trailer

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

I'm not sure why almost all European-based mystery/action films are so slow and deliberate. This one is no exception. That isn't to say that this is a bad movie. On the contrary, this is actually a pretty decent film. It's not going to blow you away, but it will keep you interested for almost the entire length of the film. However, it plods along at a pace that is a bit too slow for most movie-goers.

Claire Foy does a fine job taking over the role from Rooney Mara. She portrays the complexity of her character with great skill. Even while you see her have the strength to stand up against a massive foe, you can also see that she feels insecure and alone.

The mystery is good despite using several of the same tired tropes we see in so many films like this. (The bad guys are all trying to get their hands on a bunch of nuclear weapons to destroy the world). It could have been outstanding if they had made it a bit more reckless and fun. It is a bit too dark and depressing to be an entertaining movie.

For those of you that saw the first film in this series and don't want to see this one because of the graphic nature of several scenes, just know that this one is much tamer. If you liked the first one you should give this one a shot.

THE PREDATOR

Rated: R

Release Date: September 14, 2018

Director: Shane Black

Stars: Boyd Holbrook, Jacob Tremblay, Olivia Munn, Sterling K. Brown

Plot: Predators have returned to earth and a rag-tag team of misfits have to try to figure out why they are here and how to get rid of them

Trailer

Clint Says: Don't even bother

There is a high probability that this movie is going to end up on my 10 Worst Films of the Year list. It's going to take several real stinkers to knock this one off of the list.

Director Shane Back should be embarrassed that he made such a terrible movie, and the producers should be ashamed that they didn't secure enough funding to make this thing look better than a bad made-for-television film from the mid-80's. 

The effects are so bad they are literally laugh-out-loud funny. The acting is terrible to the point where I was cringing every time I heard a cheesy line. The editing is amateur and makes the movie look like a bad episode of POWER RANGERS rather than a big-budget action flick. And the music is so weird and out of place it actually pulled me out of the story several times.

This travesty is full of massive plot holes, horrific writing, and terrible chemistry. I am shocked that this film is getting a wide release. It looks like it's a video-on-demand flick.

Do not waste your time. Even if you use a free coupon to see this, you are going to be disappointed.

PEPPERMINT

Rated: R

Release Date: September 7, 2018

Director: Pierre Morel

Stars: Jennifer Garner, John Gallagher Jr. John Ortiz, Juan Pablo Raba

Plot: A woman gets revenge on an unjust system after her family is murdered

Trailer

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And Jennifer Garner's character is a massive fist of fury ready to knock out anything and everything in her path.

If you are a fan of ALIAS you have to see this movie now. In many ways it feels like the return of Sidney Bristow. If you like movies like JOHN WICK you need to see this movie now. I would love to see a battle royal between Jennifer and Keanu. It would be two hours of the best MMA fight you've ever seen.

For those of you thinking that this is the movie mom Jennifer Garner character with a chip on her shoulder, be warned. This movie is a hard R. The violence is brutal and constant. There are several scenes that are not suitable for people with weak stomachs.

The good news is that this isn't just a shallow action flick. The story is interesting, it's fast-paced, and there are some good twists that will keep you guessing. There are even a couple of moments where you may find yourself cheering out loud when certain people get their paybacks.

There are a couple of moments that I wish were in the movie, instead we were just told those things happened. It would have been much better to see them. Then there is a scene or two that are unrealistic or too convenient, but overall those are minor grievances.

If you can handle the violence, this is a film worth your movie-going dollars. It is a lot of fun, it is suspenseful, it is enjoyable, and it is satisfying.

A-X-L

Rated: PG

Release Date: August 24, 2018

Director: Oliver Daly

Stars: Alex Neustaedter, Becky G., Alex MacNicoll

Plot: A couple of teens find a military-grade robot-dog, but there are a lot of people desperate to get the weapon back

Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the digital release and make someone else rent it

This is essentially the exact same movie as MONSTER TRUCKS, MAX STEEL, CHAPPIE, and every other corny flick where a couple of slackers manage to beat the government at their own game by accidentally figuring out the hidden powers of the newly found object. The only difference is that this one is much worse than those other films.

The story never really goes anywhere, the effects are okay at best, the action in laughable, and the bad guys are an embarrassment to bad guys everywhere. There were several moments where I found myself looking at my watch, playing with the reclining seat, and losing interest in the movie completely. It is an entirely forgettable and boring film.

It is PG, so it should be suitable for most kids, but there are a couple of scenes that are pretty scary and intense. You may want to check it out first before taking your young ones. But if that means having to see this movie twice, I truly pity you.

There are some interesting looking films that your kids may really enjoy coming out soon. It's better to save your money by not seeing this one.

MILE 22

Rated: R

Release Date: August 17, 2018

Director: Peter Berg

Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Lauren Cohen, Iko Uwais, John Malkovich

Plot: An undercover, elite, tactical force must deliver a man to a safe zone, but there are many powerful people that want him dead

Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the digital release

Peter Berg and Mark Wahlberg have teamed up for some very interesting and good action movies. This film is by far the worst of that bunch.

The opening scene should be one that is full of suspense and precise action. Instead it falls flat to the point of almost being boring. Even when the action starts the excitement level never really gets going.

Once into the meat of the movie it becomes quickly apparent that there are very few characters, if any, to root for. Everyone is a jerk, or evil, or an evil jerk. Throw on top of that some incredibly bad dialogue, jokes that don't hit, and confusing fight scenes where you can't tell who is who, and you have a movie that is almost a complete waste of time.

It's pretty shocking that an actor/director team of this caliber made a 95 minute action flick that feels boring and slow, but somehow they managed to do it. If this isn't made by Berg and Wahlberg my guess is that it would have gone straight to digital release.

THE MEG

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: August 10, 2018

Director: Jon Turteltaub

Stars: Jason Statham, Li Bingbing, Rainn Wilson, Ruby Rose

Plot: Scientists accidentally discover and release a massive shark into the ocean and must stop it before it destroys everything in its path

Trailer

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

There isn't much to say about THE MEG other than it is stupid, ridiculously awesome fun. That breaks down to about 20% fun, 10% awesome, 20% ridiculous, and 50% stupid.

I don't say this often, but this is a movie that was begging to have an R rating, but they pulled their punches and made a PG-13 flick. It's okay as a PG-13, but it could have been so much better worse more if it were rated R. At least then we would have been able to see some more shark action.

Obviously, this is not a thinking person's movie. Just go to the concession stand, trade your brain for a massive bucket of popcorn, a big bag of candy, and a drink (alcoholic in nature is completely appropriate and recommended). It will make the film so much more enjoyable if you spend the time stuffing your face and not concentrating on things like plot.

If you are into monster movies you'll enjoy this one. It won't be anyone's favorite, but it will give you a few good moments of suspense and a few laughs.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - FALLOUT

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: July 27, 2018

Director: Christopher McQuarrie

Stars: Tom Cruise, Henry Cavill, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg

Plot: Ethan Hunt and his team must stop a mad man from detonating several nuclear devices

Trailer

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

It is quite amazing that after 22 years and six films the Mission Impossible franchise is still going strong, and the movies are getting better all the time. This is another edge-of-your seat. nail biting, action flick that will have you holding your breath and squirming in your seat trying to avoid the things flying at you. 

The cast is incredible with several past characters making dramatic returns as well as a strong role for Henry Cavill. They all bring a dynamic to the film that could not be achieved by lesser actors.

There are only two things that I didn't like about this film. First, the twist was way to easy to figure out. I had it nailed in the first few minutes of the movie, then it was just a matter of waiting around for the film to catch up with what I already knew. I'm sure you'll figure it out early as well. Second, the movie is way too long. It is just shy of 2 1/2 hours. At that length, the truly impossible mission is trying to watch the whole movie without going to the bathroom.

Aside from those minor annoyances, this is a fun, fast-paced, action-packed film that is a great popcorn flick from beginning to end. It has all of the old tricks and gimmicks that made the original TV show fun to watch, but it also keeps itself current with all of the high tech gadgets.

If you are looking for a good action flick, this may be the best one of the Summer.

THE EQUALIZER 2

Rated: R

Release Date: July 20, 2018

Director: Antoine Fuqua

Stars: Denzel Washington, Melissa Leo, Pedro Pascal, Ashton Sanders

Plot: Robert finds himself entrenched in a life or death battle with dangerous people that know his skill set

Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the digital release

Here is the key to making this a good movie. When you watch it, just have fun. Don't think about what is happening or why it is happening. Just let it happen. Then, by all means, do NOT think about the plot of this movie after you leave the theater. If you start to poke at it at all the entire story comes crashing down. So, enjoy the pretty house of cards and don't breathe near it.

Now, for those of you that actually like to think about the films you see, you are much better off staying away from this one. There are way too many plot holes, but the biggest issue of all is that we never find out why everything is happening. 

Yes, you read that right. The movie never gives us the reason why. In all of my years of going to the movies and seeing thousands of films, this could possibly be the first ever wide release film I've seen that didn't bother to tell us the "why" behind the actions.

Without the "why", why are we supposed to care about any of it? Why are we even wasting our time if we are only getting a tiny portion of the story? And why was it decided that it was okay to leave out the biggest plot point of all?

The other major issue with this movie is that the big reveal happens about halfway through the movie. From that point on there is nothing left to discover. It's just waiting for an hour to see how Denzel is going to take care of the bad guys. Sure, the action is fun, but there is zero suspense.

This movie could have easily been a lot better, unfortunately it isn't.

SKYSCRAPER

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: July 13, 2018

Director: Rawson Marshall Thurber

Stars: Dwayne Johnson, Chin Han, Neve Campbell, Roland Moller

Plot: A former FBI Agent must do everything he can to foil a gang's criminal activities while trying to save his family

Trailer

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

This is an action flick in every sense of the term. It is jam-packed with action, but the rest of the movie is filled with ridiculous dialogue, one-dimensional characters, and huge plot holes and moments of convenience.

The acting is passable at best, and in some cases it is downright terrible, the effects look and feel pretty low-budget, but the action and suspense carry this movie all the way through to it's triumphant end.

If you are in the mood for a no-brainer popcorn flick that will have you holding your breath with suspense one second then rolling your eyes at how dumb the bad guy is the next second, then you will have a blast watching SKYSCRAPER.

This is not the kind of movie that will be anyone's favorite. In fact, a couple of months from now you'll probably forget you even saw it. But it is worth seeing just for the escape from our ridiculous lives into a world that is even more ridiculous.

SICARIO: DAY OF THE SOLDADO

Rated: R

Release Date: June 29, 2018

Director: Stefano Sollima

Stars: Benecio Del Toro, Josh Brolin, Isabela Moner

Plot: The US government uses dark agents to try to start a war between the Mexican drug cartels

Trailer

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

I will give this to the SICARIO franchise, they know how to set a dark mood. Just like the first film, DAY OF THE SOLDADO has exactly zero happy moments. It is filled with despair, horrible people, and decisions that have to be made that have no positive outcome.

One of the things that gives this movie some power is the methodical, mechanical way the characters go about doing their jobs. There is very little emotion, and when emotion is interjected it is quickly dispatched. Because of this there are many times where the film feels slow. I wasn't clock watching, but I did feel like the movie wasn't getting anywhere.

If you like movies that have a tidy wrap up and ending, this is not the film for you. It's open-ended and leaves a lot of questions unanswered. It feels like this movie was nothing more than a setup for the third film in the franchise. I don't always mind it when a franchise does that, but in this case the second film isn't strong enough to stand on it's own.

Hopefully, the next film will tie everything together.

If you saw the first film in this franchise you know that you need to be in a special mood to see and enjoy these films. This isn't a popcorn action flick. It is dark and difficult all the way through. If you liked the first one you will most likely enjoy this one as well, but it isn't as good as the first.

JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: June 22, 2018

Director: T.A. Bayona

Stars: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Rafe Spall, Isabella Sermon

Plot: A small group of people are trying to save the dinosaurs from a cataclysmic event

Trailer

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

I can still remember 25 years ago, sitting in the theater, staring at the screen in awe, and watching what looked to be real dinosaurs walking with humans. I remember how fun and terrifying JURASSIC PARK was. I also remember how smart it was. It made us have to think about the consequences of our actions, and how even the most noble missions can have unintended and disastrous consequences.

Now, it's 25 years and 5 movies later and I'm still watching the same story. Sure, the dinosaurs look even more realistic now, but other than that the only thing that has changed is that the movies have become less about the consequences for humanity and more about watching the big, bad reptiles tear each other limb from limb. (And occasionally watching a big, bad reptile do the same thing to a little, bad man).

With one small, but completely predictable exception, JURASSIC WORLD FALLEN KINGDOM is the exact same movie as JURASSIC WORLD, with a few moments from the earlier films thrown in for good measure. Same dinosaurs, same people, bad guys we've seen before, scientific debates that never progress, and way too many shots of things reflected in car side view mirrors.

Is it a good monster movie? Yes. The packed crowd we saw it with seemed to enjoy themselves. They even cheered at two or three key moments. If you are going because you want to see big lizards duke it out like MMA gone wild then you will thoroughly enjoy your experience.

Critically speaking, this film is terrible. It does nothing to advance the overall story line. (Except that the Jeff Goldblum speech makes it feel like this movie could have been skipped completely and we should all just move on to the next installment). It barely advances the JURASSIC PARK world, and the way that it is advanced is incredibly predictable, lazy, and convenient. If you need your Sci-Fi films to be smart and make you think about issues and consequences then you need to skip this movie. It will shrivel your brain with its overwhelming amount of dumb.

I love a good monster movie, but this one is so much of the same, and so poorly written that I almost got dizzy from my eyes rolling. At one point I got so bored I almost walked out of the theater just to walk around outside for a few minutes in the clear air. I didn't, but if I had I wouldn't have missed anything. This flick is nothing more than a summer blockbuster cash grab. It's all effects and no content.

Hopefully, the next one will get back to what made the original a classic.

HOTEL ARTEMIS

Rated: R

Release Date: June 8, 2018

Director: Drew Pearce

Stars: Jodie Foster, Sterling K. Brown, Sofia Boutella, Jeff Goldblum

Plot: Several events converge at a secret hospital for criminals causing a situation where everyone is in danger

Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the digital release and make someone else rent it

Every story has already been told.

We've heard that so many times it has become cliche. And while it may be true on a basic story-telling level, it doesn't give people the authority to write stories in worlds created by other people. Imagine if someone wrote a story about sisters and one had the ability to freeze things, or a bunch of magical kids all go to school together near London. We would be yelling at the screen saying, "you stole that idea!"

HOTEL ARTEMIS is about as close as you can get to a straight ripoff of the JOHN WICK world. It's a hotel hospital where criminals can rest without fear of retribution from the other criminals because there are rules in place like no killing, no weapons, pay your monthly dues or no admittance, etc. They also use old school ways like land line phones, the rooms have hotel keys that look like they are from the 1960's, but all of the important stuff is state of the art. Sound familiar? It should, because it is the JOHN WICK world almost to a tee.

There is even a scene near the end of the film where the big confrontation takes place and it looks almost exactly like the lobby of the Continental Hotel in JOHN WICK.

I'm embarrassed for them that they couldn't come up with something more creative. And I'm completely shocked that nobody with any authority ever stopped and said, hey does this all seem a little too familiar to anyone?

When you throw on top of that a story that is filled with some of the biggest plot holes I've ever seen, two complete story lines that are absolutely useless to the plot, and a ridiculous convergence of events, you get a thoroughly unenjoyable eye-roller.

The only thing good about this movie is that some of the acting is pretty good. Sofia Boutella does a great job with the steaming pile of junk with which she had to work. Foster, Brown and Bautista also give performances that make the film somewhat tolerable.

If the premise of this film intrigues you watch JOHN WICK instead. It is a hundred times better than this mess.

RAMPAGE

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: April 13, 2018

Director: Brad Peyton

Stars: Dwayne Johnson, Naomie Harris, Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Plot: Three genetically enhanced animals wreak havoc on Chicago while a handful of experts try to stop the mayhem

Trailer

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

RECIPE:

1 (or more) Something really bad trying to destroy the world.

1 Beautiful and smart woman with the key to neutralize the bad things

100 Buildings falling

1,000 Explosions

1,000,000 (or more) Bullets and missiles buzzing around

35 Witty comments or comebacks

2 Stupid and one-dimensional bad guys

1 Dwayne Johnson

Let simmer over an open flame for an hour, bring to a boil for 30 minutes, remove from heat and let it be cool. Serve when Dwayne Johnson smiles, winks, and delivers one last witty one-liner and everyone has a good laugh.

Dwayne Johnson saves the world...again...ho hum.

It's a skin-deep movie. Lots of action, lots of fun, hardly any depth.

This movie isn't bad. It's exactly what you expect it to be. If you walk in with a large bucket of popcorn and zero expectations that this film will stimulate your brain, you will have a great time.