Reviews Of What Is In Theaters Now

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FREAKY
Rated: R
Release Date: November 13, 2020
Director: Christopher Landon
Stars: Kathryn Newton, Vince Vaughn
Plot: A girl switches bodies with a serial killer and has only 24 hours to change back before it's permanent
 
Clint Says: Worth it if you are a fan of slasher flicks
 

 

Do you remember the Disney Freaky Friday films and all of the other body-switch movies that have come out over the last 40 years? Well, don't mistake this one for the slightly dramatic, but mostly comedic Lindsey Lohan-led plotline. This one is a straight up, gory, slasher flick. 
 
Sure it has several comedic moments with Vince Vaughn pretending to be a teenage girl, but this is a horror flick before anything else. And here is the good news, as far as slasher flicks go, this one is better than most. Yes, it still has stupid people doing stupid things and more plot holes than swiss cheese, but it is also filled with wild scares, creepy chases, and epically gross, yet mysteriously entertaining kill scenes. (Oh, don't get all high and mighty on me...you know you love it when the idiot jerk gets what's coming to them.)
 
Vince Vaughn does a great job essentially playing two roles in this one. It's great to see him play something other than the big, goofy guy. He pulls off the serious role of a deranged serial killer with masterful ease. And Kathryn Newton does the same going from awkward teen to complete psycho. 
 
This is one of those films that is purely entertaining. It offers nothing to stimulate your brain or to manipulate your emotions. 
 
If you like scary flicks filled with blood and gore, check your brain at the door and have a blast watching this one. 

Posted by on in Movie Reviews
THE EMPTY MAN
Rated: R
Release Date: October 23, 2020
Director: David Prior
Stars: James Badge Dale, Stephen Root, Joel Courtney, Marin Ireland
Plot: A group finds out how to summon an evil entity and things take a bad turn
 
Clint Says: Wait for the digital release
 

 

It must be near the end of October. Why? Because even in the middle of a pandemic Hollywood still manages to push out bad horror flicks. (That, and I looked at the calendar just before I wrote this).
 
While this is not your typical, do-something-stupid, make-all-the-wrong-choices, the-person-acting-like-a-jerk-is-about-to-die horror flick, it tries to be smart and moody, but it just falls flat. 
 
What makes this one worse than most is that it is nearly a full hour longer than the average horror flick. Most of them clock in at 80 or 90 minutes. Sometimes they push an hour and 45 minutes. But this one drags on for a full 2 hours and 17 minutes! That's like 3 years in horror flick time. Trust me, nobody's got time for that.
 
If you are desperate to get out of the house and see a new horror flick for the Halloween season, this is pretty much your only option. I wish it was better, but we don't always get what we wish for...even if we blow into an empty bottle and chant for it. 
 
I have a feeling that The Empty Man is going to be playing to a lot of empty theaters. 

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SHORTCUT

Rated: Not Rated
Release Date: September 25, 2020
Director: Alessio Liguori
Stars: Jack Kane, Zak Sutcliffe, Sophie Jane Oliver, Zander Emlano
Plot: A group of students are trapped on their school bus when they are attacked by an evil creature
 
Clint Says: Wait for the digital release
 
 
When a feature film clocks in at 80 minutes you can be assured of one of two things. It is either going to be jam-packed with action and suspense, or it should have been a short film that got stretched into an 80-minute film with 30 minutes of fluff. 
 
SHORTCUT is jam-packed with fluff. 
 
To put it in perspective, the opening credits, (where nothing happens), are four minutes long. The end credits are 6 1/2 minutes long. Ladies and gentlemen, that makes up nearly 15% of the film's total running time! Add to that several slow-moving and long montage scenes and half of the film is knocked out. 
 
I will say that the other half of the movie is really suspenseful and "horror flick fun". This is not a film that you can take seriously at all, but if you are willing to suspend all disbelief you'll have a good time with it. 
 
The climactic scene is riotously funny. It's not supposed to be, but it is. I don't want to give away anything, but let's just say that the Paul Reuben's (Pee Wee Herman) death scene in BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER may have lost its crown as the funniest on-screen death in cinematic history.
 
If you like laughing at horror flicks, this one is a must-see movie. If you are hoping to experience cinematic excellence, this is not the film for you. 

Posted by on in Movie Reviews
SPUTNIK
Rated: Unrated
Release Date: July 24, 2020
Director: Egor Abramenko
Stars: Oksana Akinshina, Fedor Bondarchuk, Pyotr Fyodorov
Plot: A psychologist is tasked with finding out the issues with a cosmonaut that has just returned from space, however his problems are way beyond her area of expertise 
 
Clint Says: Too slow and tame for a horror/thriller flick, watch something else
 
 
Streaming on Amazon, Apple, and Google Play.
 
Sitting at home and watching a good horror flick can be fun. Sitting at home and watching a bad horror flick can be a dreadful experience. 
 
SPUTNIK leans much more towards dreadful than fun. 
 
First off, this film is a slow burn. It takes forever to get to the horror part, and by the time it finally got there I was so bored that I didn't really care anymore. I just wanted it to end. 
 
What is sad is that they explain all of the horrific things that happened off camera. Hello? This is a HORROR FLICK!!! Show the horror!!! This could have been so scary that you would leave it streaming while you went to the bathroom just to get it over with. Instead, you'll end up leaving it streaming while you go to the bathroom and then grab a snack before you stroll back to your computer because the flick is boring you that much. 
 
The more I think about this movie the less I like it. The premise is silly, the on-screen story is dull, and the outcome is preposterous. There isn't enough suspension if disbelief in the world to overcome the things the characters are doing that nobody would ever do. 
 
We are coming up on Halloween, I'm sure there will be other horror flicks way better than this one. So save your time and money for those.   
 

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THE INVISIBLE MAN

Rated: R

Release Date: February 28, 2020

Director: Leigh Whannell

Stars: Elisabeth Moss, Aldis Hodge, Storm Reid, Oliver Jackson-Cohen

Plot: A woman tries to convince everyone that her abusive, ex-boyfriend is invisible and attacking her

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

 

 

There is a huge debate in the monster movie geekdom over whether this movie is a new reboot of Universal's Dark Universe, if it is a continuation of the Dark Universe, or if the Dark Universe is dead and this is just another monster movie put out there by Universal Studios with no affiliation to any of their other monster movies.

 

They can have that argument all day long. What I know to be true is that this is the first of the four monster movies, (THE WOLFMAN, DRACULA UNTOLD, THE MUMMY, and THE INVISIBLE MAN), that is actually good.

 

This film is filled with high suspense, a compelling story, great acting, and good pacing. The first 10 minutes will have you on the edge of your seat and having to remind yourself to breathe. And the suspense builds from there. 

 

Another fascinating aspect of this film is the use of camera movement to build suspense even when there is nothing on the screen except the set. It feels like you are following the invisible man, or waiting for him to appear at any moment. Also, kudos to the actors that had to do fight scenes with nobody. It is very difficult to flail around by yourself and not have it look completely ridiculous, but they managed to pull it off very well. 

 

If you like suspense and a few good jump scares, you need to see this movie right away. This has the potential to be one of the best horror films of the year. 

 

It's scary and smart. Very few horror films can claim both of those things. This one can.

Posted by on in Movie Reviews

BRAHMS: THE BOY II

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: February 21, 2020

Director: William Brent Bell

Stars: Katie Holmes, Christopher Convery, Owain Yeoman

Plot: A family is terrorized by a creepy-looking doll

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Don't even bother

 

 

I am so bummed that this movie is such a bust. When I saw the trailer for the first movie in this franchise I thought it looked kind of silly, but then I saw the movie and was blown away at how scary it was and how amazing the twist at the end was. I never saw it coming, and it was fantastic.

 

This second installment basically takes the awesome ending of the first, crumples it up, tosses it in the trash, and goes full tilt towards the ridiculous. Instead of leaving it alone, or working to come up with a plot that tied in well to the first film, the studio just went with a mind-numbingly stupid script in order to do a quick cash grab. 

 

Everything about this film is bad. The acting is cringe-worthy, the dialogue is boring and predictable, and in nearly 90 minutes I was scared maybe two times. The whole premise of this movie is utterly useless, and not even remotely worth your time or money. If you want to see a great horror flick, rent THE BOY. Now, that is how a horror movie should be.

Posted by on in Movie Reviews

FANTASY ISLAND

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: February 14, 2020

Director: Jeff Wadlow

Stars: Lucy Hale, Maggie Q, Michael Pena, Ryan Hansen

Plot: Several people arrive on a mysterious island to live out a fantasy, but their fantasies don't always turn out the way they want

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

 

 

When I first saw the trailer for this movie I was excited to see a reboot of one of the most nostalgic TV shows ever. Then I saw how it twisted the tale into a horror flick and I was even more excited.

 

The great news is that, even as excited as I was to see this movie, I didn't walk out disappointed. Horror films rarely live up to the hype or to the excitement of the trailer. This one does. It's filled with fun moments, a compelling story, and several great twists. 

 

The only downside is that there is very little horror in this film. The scares and chills are few, but at least the writer and director didn't try to fill it up with silly nonsense just to get a few more jump scares into the mix. They let the story breathe, and in doing so, gave us a fun, and somewhat terrifying film that will make you stick to your soft, Corinthian Leather movie seats. (That's a joke from the 1970's...if you don't get it, ask your parents).

 

There isn't a lot about this movie that is noteworthy. It's not a great horror flick, it doesn't have amazing acting, nor does it dazzle the senses with its style, however it is just good enough to make it worth seeing if you are a fan of the horror genre.

 

For those of you old enough to remember the television series, there are several call-backs and Easter eggs that will keep you entertained throughout the film. 

 

This isn't a movie that is going to win a ton of awards, but it is one that is worth a night out with friends. So, take a trip to Fantasy Island, you might enjoy your stay.

Posted by on in Movie Reviews

GRETEL AND HANSEL

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: January 31, 2020

Director: Osgood Perkins

Stars: Sophia Lillis, Samuel Leakey, Alice Krige

Plot: Two children, lost in the woods, come upon a darkness that is bent on destroying them

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

 

 

 

Most of us have heard the story of Hansel and Gretel. And now it gets a Hollywood treatment worthy of the terrifying essence of the tale. Sure, we would laugh about the witch getting the kids fat, and the way they outsmart her, but the reality is, the story is horrific.

 

While this film isn't your typical horror flick, it is better than most. It's a slow burn that builds well, and leads us to an original and twisted end. The movie is significantly more creepy than is it scary. Yes, it has a few moments that will make you jump, but for the most part it's all about making your skin crawl. 

 

It is a strikingly beautiful film. Every scene is built with impressive imagery and purpose. There is a symmetrical look to the film that is satisfying, but also unsettling. Each scene makes you feel like you should enjoy what you are seeing, yet there is a sense of foreboding that is continuously present.

 

The acting is superb, especially for the horror genre. Sophia Lillis, (IT and NANCY DREW), is fantastic in the lead role. She carries the story like a seasoned professional even though she is still in her teens. The rest of the cast do fine jobs in keeping the story moving forward. 

 

If you are a fan of dark fairy tales, this film is worth your time and money. 

Posted by on in Movie Reviews

THE TURNING

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: January 24, 2020

Director: Floria Sigismondi

Stars: Mackenzie Davis, Finn Wolfhard, Brooklynn Prince

Plot: A live-in nanny gets more than she bargained for when the job of her dreams turns into a nightmare

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Don't even bother

 

 

The first 15 minutes of this movie are dreadfully boring. 

 

And then, it gets worse from there. 

 

The next hour of this terrible cinematic experience is made up of about 45 minutes of the main character slowly walking towards the next jump scare. 

 

And then, it gets worse from there.

 

Yes, it's true. This terrible, horrible, no good, lack-of-story, boring, mockery of the horror genre actually tries to do a u-turn and become this cerebral, artsy-fartsy, deep-thinker piece of cinema. Shockingly, (to no one), it fails miserably at it. Nearly every person that watched this movie with me walked out at the end scratching their heads, and saying, "what was that?"

 

Even if you can figure out the unexplained ending, it doesn't make the movie any better, because none of the reveals at the end matter to the rest of the story as it is told. 

 

The only good thing this film has to offer it that it does have some creepy moments, and a couple of decent scares, but if you want more out of your horror film than to jump once or twice, you'll want to look anywhere else but here.

 

Turn away from THE TURNING.

Posted by on in Movie Reviews

THE GRUDGE

Rated: R

Release Date: January 3, 2020

Director: Nicolas Pesce

Stars: Andrea Riseborough, Demian Bichir, John Cho, Lin Shaye

Plot: A detective tries to solve a brutal mystery only to find out super-natural forces are plotting against her

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Don't even bother

 

 

We aren't even a full week into the new year, yet we already have a solid contender for a top 10 worst film of 2020. 

 

I don't remember the last time I was this bored while watching a horror flick. Sure, I've seen a ton of them that were really bad, but most of them have at least some entertainment value. This one is slow, barely suspenseful, and convoluted.

 

Perhaps the most telling sign that this movie is terrible is that it is only 93 minutes long, but it could have easily had a good 30 minutes taken out of it. The other bad sign is that this movie has been in the works for almost six years. It was written, rewritten, finally filmed in 2018, an then sat on a shelf until it's release now. 

 

Even the jump scares in this movie are useless. Yes, you might have a quick moment or two of fright while watching this, but those fleeting moments won't make up for the majority of the time you'll sit there completely bored.

 

There are a lot of amazing, award-worthy films still in the theaters right now. Spend your money to see one of those. Don't waste your time on this junk. 

Posted by on in Movie Reviews

BLACK CHRISTMAS

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: December 13, 2019

Director: Sophia Takal

Stars: Imogen Poots, Aleyse Shannon, Lily Donoghue, Cary Elwes

Plot: Several girls on a college campus are hunted by cloaked and masked figures

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Don't even bother

 

 

This is the kind of film that gives the horror genre a bad name. This is nothing but a brainless, stupid, slasher flick that serves no purpose whatsoever. 

 

The acting is embarrassingly bad, and the plot is worse.

 

On some level this is supposed to be a female empowerment movie, but they give the women power by making the men literally brainless clones that are trained only to kill. So rather than make the men smart and the women smarter, they decided to make the men as dumb as possible. 

 

There is nothing scary about this movie. Even the jump scares are lame. And by the time the film gets to the climax everything has become so eye-rollingly ridiculous that it is laugh out loud funny. 

 

If you want to see a great Christmas horror flick, go rent ANNA AND THE APOCALYPSE. But whatever you do just make sure you avoid this movie completely. If you see it Santa will put you on his naughty list.

Posted by on in Movie Reviews

DOCTOR SLEEP

Rated: R

Release Date: November 8, 2019

Director: Mike Flanagan

Stars: Ewan McGregor, Rebecca Ferguson, Kyliegh Curran

Plot: Dan has tried to avoid his "shining" as he has grown up, but when he finds out evil is chasing down a young girl with her ow ability to shine, he must do what he can to save her

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

 

 

If you are a fan of the 1980 horror classic THE SHINING then you will want to see DOCTOR SLEEP. If for no other reason than to see what psychological damage was done to little Danny boy at the Overlook Hotel.

 

Aside from the curiosity factor though, this is a good movie. It is a horror flick, but it is more creepy than scary, just like the original. It does a good job of standing on its own while paying homage to its predecessor. There are several great call backs and Easter eggs for fans of THE SHINING.

 

The acting is very well done. Especially from newcomer Kyliegh Curran. She takes what is essentially a lead role and owns it. That's a tough job for anyone, much more so for a 13 year old just starting her film career.

 

My only issue with this movie is that I was expecting something different. The trailers make it seem like this is Danny's story, but it really isn't. Yes, we get a lot from him, but the main hero arc belongs to the young girl. He is there to support her. Once I accepted this as reality instead of Danny having the hero arc I found myself enjoying the movie more.

 

This movie is filled with creepy images, people, and of course the hotel. It was never terrifying, but I could feel a sense of dread throughout the entire film. As far as horror films go, this is one of the best of the year.

 

It may have been 39 years between the original and the sequel, but they got it right, and that is what really matters. 

Posted by on in Movie Reviews

 

 

COUNTDOWN

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: October 25, 2019

Director: Justin Dec

Stars: Elizabeth Lail, Jordan Calloway, Talitha Bateman, Peter Facinelli

Plot: An app that tells people when they will die becomes all too true for the people that download it

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

 

 

Horror has had a difficult time moving into the 2010's. The genre has tried several times with movies like UNFRIENDED and ESCAPE ROOM to bring technology into the story line, but it has yet to be really successful.

 

This movie may be the best so far in mixing today's technology with creepy horror.

 

If you like going to horror flicks for all of the jumps and bumps, this movie is one of the best of the year. There are a ton of jump scares to keep you reaching for the hand of the person sitting next to you. It also has one of the creepiest looking bad guys ever.

 

The story is pretty decent, too. It's not anywhere near amazing, but for a horror flick they did a good job with keeping the flow moving and even making fun of a couple of the old, tired horror cliches. Yes, it is filled with mediocre/bad acting and eye-rolling moments, but it also knows what it is and where it is going and it never tries to take itself to seriously.

 

If you like horror flicks, go for it. It's not going to be one of your favorites, but it will get you into the Halloween mood. If you aren't a fan of being scared then stay away from this one.

 

Posted by on in Movie Reviews

 

 

THE LIGHTHOUSE

Rated: R

Release Date: October 25, 2019

Director: Robert Eggers

Stars: Willem Dafoe, Robert Pattinson

Plot: Two lighthouse attendants try to fix an aging lighthouse while keeping from going mad

Trailer

 

Clint Says: See this only if you love art-house films

 

 

When it comes to films that fall into the horror genre, THE LIGHTHOUSE may be the most beautiful of them all. Shot fully in black and white, the images and cinematography are stunning. It feels and looks like you are watching a Hitchcock film in high definition. Everything pops off of the screen in incredible detail.

 

Perhaps the most amazing thing about this film is that the sound is so well done, yet the whole film was recorded in mono. (Read: One track). The sound comes at you, relentlessly, from all sides, just like the sea around the small island they inhabit.

 

As for the story, the first hour of the film is interesting, but I wouldn't go so far as to say it is entertaining. After that it completely implodes into a weird mess of a film with no chance of anyone figuring out what is real and what are hallucinations from a completely untrustworthy narrator.

 

I'm sure there is some brilliant explanation for all of the happenings in the story, but for me, a film needs to give the viewer the keys to figuring everything out. If we aren't given the key then the story is nothing but a confusing mess. And frankly, if the writer and director don't care enough about the audience to help them understand the full story then I don't care enough to go online and research what it is all about.

 

This is very much an art-house film. If you only see a few movies a year, this is not the film for you. This is for people that like to think of themselves as movie snobs. It has moments of brilliance, but overall it is an average film at best.

 

Posted by on in Movie Reviews

IT CHAPTER 2

Rated: R

Release Date: September 6, 2019

Director: Andy Muschetti

Stars: Jessica Chastain, James McAvoy, Bill Hader, Bill Skarsgard

Plot: The Losers return to the little town of Derry 27 years after the events that changed their lives because strange events are happening again

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

 

 

If you haven't seen the first movie stop reading now. You absolutely have to see the first film for anything in this movie to make sense. For those of you that have already seen the first movie, get ready for a crazy ride.

 

Okay, so, I need you to see this movie right away because we need to talk. There is so much going on in this nearly 3-hour freak-fest that we all will need people to help us just to figure out what is going on and why. 

 

While this movie isn't quite as good as the first one, it is still an excellent film. It takes a bit to figure out who the characters are, but once they start weaving together the kids' lives with their respective adults everything falls into place and feels right. All of the adult actors do a masterful job at keeping the vital parts of their characters created by the kids. By the end it almost feels like the kids really grew up into these adults. 

 

As for the story, it is filled with grotesque creatures, horrific imagery, and high levels of suspense. It is also incredibly funny. And even though the movie is just shy of three hours long it never feels like it is dragging. It probably could have been better with another 20 or so minutes cut out of it, but it is fine just the way it is. 

 

There are several scenes that are quite confusing because there are a lot of flashbacks and hallucinations. Sometimes it is difficult to figure out what is "real" and what is happening in the character's head. And there are a couple of scenes where you will be left scratching your head trying to figure out what just happened. (This is why we need to talk).

 

As far as horror films go, this series is at the very top of the game. If you enjoyed the first one, you have to see this one. It will give you a satisfying ending to the twisted tale.  

Posted by on in Movie Reviews

READY OR NOT

Rated: R

Release Date: August 21, 2019

Director: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett

Stars: Samara Weaving, Adam Brody, Andie MacDowell, Henry Czerny

Plot: A newlywed finds out her new in-laws are a murderous bunch of crazies

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

 

 

 

There is a fine line when a horror film tries to be quirky and funny at the same time. Most horror flicks don't get it right. This one gets it close enough to right to make it fun and entertaining.

 

In fact, this may be my favorite horror film to come along since IT hit the big screen. (Although HAPPY DEATH DAY 2U was really good, too).

 

It takes a few minutes for this movie to hit it's stride. At the beginning it feels like the pacing, the actors, and even the music aren't quite in sync, but after the first 15 minutes everything falls into place and from then on it is a wild and bloody ride to the end. 

 

The film is full of a lot of fun characters. Some of them are a little much for the feel of the movie, but most of them are spot on. Samara Weaving is outstanding in her role as the vulnerable, unknowing, hero. You really feel for her as she gets caught up in the high stakes game, and begins to understand all of the insanity around her. Her transformation feels real. 

 

This movie reminded me a lot of the old movie CLUE. It has the same feel and a similar comedic level, but this film takes the killing and gore to a place way beyond CLUE ever thought about going.

 

If you love horror flicks, this one is a must-see.

Posted by on in Movie Reviews

47 METERS DOWN: UNCAGED

Rated: R

Release Date: August 16, 2019

Director: Johannes Roberts

Stars: Sophie Nelisse, Sistine Stallone, Brianne Tju, Corinne Foxx

Plot: Four girls find themselves trapped in an underwater, shark-infested, cave

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

 

 

If you saw the first film in this franchise you know that the ending made most people throw their leftover popcorn at the screen. Thankfully, the makers of this movie learned their lesson and didn't give us a terrible ending. 

 

This flick is not great by any stretch of the imagination, but it does exactly what it sets out to do. It makes you feel lost, claustrophobic, and panicked, and then the sharks show up and scare you half to death. This isn't a movie for people that like to think about plot, or examine why someone is doing something so stupid instead of doing the obvious thing. This is a movie where you grab a huge bucket of popcorn, throw out all thoughts of science and logic, and enjoy the heck out of zombie sharks chasing people through an underground cave. 

 

Critically speaking this movie is terrible. There isn't a story, there are no character arcs, the effects are bad, and the script is worse. But from the standpoint of wanting to see sharks eat humans, this is 90 minutes of greatness. 

 

There is nothing about this film that is going to rock your world or make you think about it long after you've seen it. It's nothing more than a decent film made to creep you out and make you never want to scuba dive ever again. 

 

Try not to think at all while watching this movie and you'll have a great time. 

Posted by on in Movie Reviews

SCARY STORIES TO TELL IN THE DARK

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: August 9, 2019

Director: Andre Ovredal

Stars: Zoe Margaret Colletti, Michael Garza, Gabriel Rush, Austin Zajur

Plot: A group pf teens find a book in a suspected haunted house, and the stories inside the book begin to come true

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Wait for the digital release

 

 

This is about as middle-of-the-road horror flick as you can get. It's not overly scary, it's not mind-numbingly stupid, but it also never really goes anywhere innovative or exciting. It just sort of happens. 

 

It feels like a lot of the cast and crew were just going through the motions while making this movie. There are several scenes that are shot poorly, or have bad acting, or terrible lighting. The characters aren't very compelling, in fact it is pretty difficult to care about any of them. And the scary figures are more laughable than creepy.

 

There are a couple of suspenseful moments, and there is one interesting twist that happens, but it is never explained. If they had expanded on that twist some more this could have been a much better film. 

 

This one is okay, but it isn't worth theater money. Save that for films like IT CHAPTER 2 (which will hopefully be as good as the first one). This film will be fine to see on your computer screen a couple of months from now.

Posted by on in Movie Reviews

MIDSOMMAR

Rated: R

Release Date: July 3, 2019

Director: Ari Aster

Stars: Florence Pugh, Jack Reynor, William Jackson Harper

Plot: A couple travels to Sweden for a mid-summer festival, but the festivities are much darker than they could have ever imagined

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Wait for the digital release and make someone else rent it

 

 

Two and a half hours. 150 minutes. 10% of an entire day. That is how long this insane horror flick is. Another way to put it is about 60 minutes longer than any horror film should ever be. That isn't to say that this is a bad movie. In some respects it is a masterpiece. But for the average movie-goer, this is a psychotic, weird, waste of time.

 

This film uses light as it's main theme. And just like THE SHINING, this movie is filled with horrific things that you get to see in all of their hellish glory because the lights are always on. Some of the images would be much better off being in the shadows, but there is no such luck for us or the trapped stars of the film.

 

This is a true horror film, meaning that is isn't necessarily a scary movie, but it is filled with horrifying images and moments. From the first minute where the film starts to take a dark turn it never lets you rest until the lights turn on in the theater. The creepiness factor continues to rise throughout the film until it climaxes in a moment of true terror. 

 

This is not a movie for everyone. In fact, it is a movie for very few people. Basically, the only people that are going to "enjoy" (and I put that word in quotes on purpose, because nobody is really going to enjoy this film), are high brow, high art film lovers, and those that really like strange and grotesque horror films over the typical slasher films we see all the time. If you don't fall into one of those two categories, go ahead and skip this movie. You'll just be annoyed later on when you hate it and you are trying to get your money back after walking out a hour into it.

 

As I walked out of the theater I was thinking, "that was a wild movie that I never want to see again." Then I heard a woman talking with her friends and she said, "If anyone is thinking about seeing that movie, they shouldn't. That was awful." I have a feeling there are going to be a lot of conversations just like that all weekend long. 

Posted by on in Movie Reviews

ANNABELLE COMES HOME

Rated: R

Release Date: June 26, 2019

Director: Gary Dauberman

Stars: Mckenna Grace, Madison Iseman, Katie Sarife, Vera Farmiga

Plot: A girl unwittingly releases the evils the Warrens have locked away in a room of horrors

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Wait for the digital release

 

 

Since 2013 we have seen half a dozen films hit the theater in the CONJURING universe. The CONJURING films were flat out terrifying. ANNABELLE: CREATION was pretty good and very scary. The rest have been below average to terrible. This one falls in the "below average" category. 

 

One of the things that made the CONJURING films so horrifying is that they were based in the real life accounts of Ed and Lorraine Warren. Now, it seems like the film studio has decided to expand the universe in a much less realistic way, but probably one that is more commercial. 

 

This film essentially takes parts from several of the Warren accounts, puts them all together, and allows one ridiculously stupid teenager to unleash the demons of hell locked within by doing something ridiculous and stupid. 

 

Is this movie scary? Yes...to a degree. It's more of a jump scare movie than anything really terrifying. That said, it does have a couple of moments that are very creepy and done well. 

 

Is this a good movie? Nope...not even close. It's stupid people doing stupid things instead of smart people doing the smart thing and still winding up in trouble. 

 

If you want a couple of scares this movie will satisfy, but this isn't one that is going to be in the top 10 of anyone's horror list.