Reviews Of What Is In Theaters Now

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Posted by on in Movie Reviews

47 METERS DOWN: UNCAGED

Rated: R

Release Date: August 16, 2019

Director: Johannes Roberts

Stars: Sophie Nelisse, Sistine Stallone, Brianne Tju, Corinne Foxx

Plot: Four girls find themselves trapped in an underwater, shark-infested, cave

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

 

 

If you saw the first film in this franchise you know that the ending made most people throw their leftover popcorn at the screen. Thankfully, the makers of this movie learned their lesson and didn't give us a terrible ending. 

 

This flick is not great by any stretch of the imagination, but it does exactly what it sets out to do. It makes you feel lost, claustrophobic, and panicked, and then the sharks show up and scare you half to death. This isn't a movie for people that like to think about plot, or examine why someone is doing something so stupid instead of doing the obvious thing. This is a movie where you grab a huge bucket of popcorn, throw out all thoughts of science and logic, and enjoy the heck out of zombie sharks chasing people through an underground cave. 

 

Critically speaking this movie is terrible. There isn't a story, there are no character arcs, the effects are bad, and the script is worse. But from the standpoint of wanting to see sharks eat humans, this is 90 minutes of greatness. 

 

There is nothing about this film that is going to rock your world or make you think about it long after you've seen it. It's nothing more than a decent film made to creep you out and make you never want to scuba dive ever again. 

 

Try not to think at all while watching this movie and you'll have a great time. 

Posted by on in Movie Reviews

 

THE SHALLOWS

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: June 24, 2016

Director: Jaume Collet-Serra

Stars: Blake Lively, Oscar Jaenada

Plot: A woman is stalked by a great white shark just a short distance from the shore, but she can't find a way to safety

Trailer

 

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and make someone else rent it

 

 

Oh, dear director, what did you do? This movie started out with an interesting premise and for the first hour and 15 minutes the suspense was incredible. Even though the movie felt slow at times there was still this overwhelming feeling of dread and fear for the main character. 

 

Then the last 15 minutes played. 

 

I can't convey to you how utterly stupid this movie went without using words like SHARKNADO. Really. It got THAT bad. I was literally rolling my eyes and feeling embarrassed for all the people that worked on this movie. 

 

It is very difficult to not recommend a movie that has Blake Lively in a bikini for 90 minutes, but this is so bad that even she can't make it worth seeing.